Eminem

                  [Eminem]
                  May I have your attention please?
                  May I have your attention please?
                  Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
                  I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
                  We're gonna have a problem here..

                  Y'all act like you never seen a white person before
                  Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the
                  door
                  and started whoopin her ass worse than before
                  they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
                  It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
                  he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"
                  And Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
                  Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
                  Feminist women love Eminem
                  [*vocal turntable: chigga chigga chigga*]
                  "Slim Shady, I'm sick of him
                  Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what
                  Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
                  Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
                  But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms
                  Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't
                  but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
                  "My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"
                  And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
                  And that's the message that we deliver to little kids
                  And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is
                  Of course they gonna know what intercourse is
                  By the time they hit fourth grade
                  They got the Discovery Channel don't they?
                  "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
                  who cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
                  But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
                  then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope
                  [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
                  Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes

                  [Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]

                  I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
                  All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
                  So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
                  please stand up, please stand up?

                  [Eminem]
                  Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
                  well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
                  You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
                  Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
                  "But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
                  Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
                  So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
                  Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
                  so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
                  and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
                  You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
                  "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
                  I should download her audio on MP3
                  and show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
                  I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is
                  annoy me
                  so I have been sent here to destroy you [bzzzt]
                  And there's a million of us just like me
                  who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
                  who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
                  and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!

                  [Chorus]

                  [Eminem]
                  I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you
                  things you joke about with your friends inside your living
room
                  The only difference is I got the balls to say it
                  in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at
                  all
                  I just get on the mic and spit it
                  and whether you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
                  better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
                  Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
                  It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm thirty
                  I'll be the only person in the nursin home flirting
                  Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with Jergens
                  And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working
                  And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
                  He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
                  [*HACH*] Or in the parkin lot, circling
                  Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"
                  with his windows down and his system up
                  So, will the real Shady please stand up?
                  And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
                  And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
                  and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

                  [Chorus 4X]

                  [Eminem]
                  Ha ha
                  Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
                  Fuck it, let's all stand up